i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Quick, to the slutcave!
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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