the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
FUCK WHALES
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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