Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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