used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Randomize
