sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
