I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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