youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Randomize
