There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
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