I think I am morally bankrupt
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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