There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
