Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
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