if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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