Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize
