So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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