fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize
