So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Randomize
