I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
You pole danced in your parka.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
