I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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