Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Randomize
