goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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