Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
