You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
