My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
farters have to be the big spoon...
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
