And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
