She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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