where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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