cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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