You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
