Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
