I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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