i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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