Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
