Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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