after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
