i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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