my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
