Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
