why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
