I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
