so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
