it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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