There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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