I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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