Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
