Me. At least after what I've been through.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Randomize
