just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
