please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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