Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
