They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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