whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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